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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27758446">Schmidt's Traveling Condo: A Schmando Howl's Moving Castle AU</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrandH/pseuds/GrandH'>GrandH</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Drawfee, Hot Guy P.I. (Webcomic), Howl's Moving Castle - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>How Do I Tag, I'm Super New At This, M/M, More Modern Setting But Still Kinda Fantasy, Romantic Comedy, Two Idiots One Brain Cell and Neither of Them Have It, cursing?, please be kind</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:40:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,423</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27758446</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrandH/pseuds/GrandH</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A retelling of Howl's Moving Castle with our resident lovable idiots of Hot Guy P.I.<br/>i.e., Karina tweeted a drawing of Schmando as Howl and Sofie from Howl's Moving Castle, I commented on it, she liked it, and now here we are. I'm committed, babyyyy</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Schmidt/Nando Sy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Schmidt's Traveling Condo: A Schmando Howl's Moving Castle AU</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first fanfic, I'm super new at this, likes and comments would be greatly appreciated. I may write more, but I'll have to rewatch Howl's Moving Castle before I do</p><p>Every character in this will belong to Karina of Drawfee, twitter handle: @dilfosaur, you wouldn't be here if you didn't know who she was tbh</p><p>The idea of "Howl's Moving Castle" as a book belongs to Dianne Wynn Jones and the movie to Studio Ghibli</p><p>I don't own anything. Does that cover my legal bases? I dunno, please enjoy ^^</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The fated meeting in the middle of the night, shenanigans ensue</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rumors of a walking building had been circulating around the countryside, so much so that they had reached even the heart of the cities. People speculated that the building must have been the work of a wizard or a witch, or a non-gender conforming magical being that may also begin with the letter <em>w</em>.</p><p><br/>
Rumors stated that the building looked like a fancy high-rise apartment with floor-to-ceiling windows and sleek modern lines. People speculated that whoever owned the building must’ve been quite wealthy, along with being a wizard or a witch, or a non-gender conforming magical being that may also begin with the letter<em> w</em>.</p><p><br/>
Fernando Sy had heard all the rumors, of course. With a fourteen-year old daughter who was always checking her phone for the latest gossip, it would be impossible not to hear of them. But, he didn’t care too much about word of mouth.</p><p><br/>
Come on, a walking building? How would that even work? Did it have legs? How gross would that be? A building without a real foundation with creepy legs stomping across the countryside? Fernando had more important things to worry about, like paying rent.</p><p><br/>
So, here he was, doing odd jobs at weird-ass hours so he could put food on the table and a non-leaky roof over his head.</p><p>“Um, I think you’ve got the wrong guy,” he chuckled nervously as a rather shady man eyed him up and down in a narrow alleyway far away from the main streets of the city.</p><p><br/>
The client said it was a simple job. Just “go to the back of the Hotcakes Bakery, knock three times, give them the briefcase, and I’ll wire the money to your account,” they said. It would be easy, they said.</p><p><br/>
Nothing in life was ever easy, Fernando grit his teeth, sweat trickling down his temple.</p><p><br/>
The shady individual looking at him had quite a nasty look in his eye, and his friend looming behind him looked even scarier. And he could see both of them had a weapon of some sort in their belt loops.</p><p><br/>
“Yeah? You tellin’ me that the suspicious dude with a pink streak in his hair and a suitcase wandering around in the middle of the night isn’t the guy I’m lookin’ for?” the smaller guy leered, waving a finger under Fernando’s nose.</p><p><br/>
“Uh... yeah..?” Fernando tried with a shrug and a smile, but it didn’t work as the bigger guy held up a metal pipe. Who even used those in fights? Where’d he even pick up a random-ass metal pipe? Was it just lying around, not attached to anything?</p><p><br/>
“Well, listen here--” the smaller guy began when Fernando suddenly felt a warm arm around his shoulders.</p><p><br/>
“Sorry, I got lost on the way here, didn’t mean to keep you waiting,” the stranger said in a smooth voice, and Fernando had to keep from flinching in surprise when that voice spoke far too close to his ears.</p><p><br/>
He turned to see someone a little taller than him and way too handsome to be wandering around the streets in the dead middle of night. The stranger smiled at him, and Fernando couldn’t help but notice the little mole at the corner of his lips.</p><p><br/>
“Uh, no, yeah, I was just... talking to this guy while I was waiting,” Fernando jabbed a thumb towards the two who were staring at the stranger intently, both of out of wariness and probably attraction. Which was fair.</p><p><br/>
“Who the hell are you?” the bigger guy demanded, waving that pipe around.</p><p><br/>
“I’m his boyfriend,” the stranger purred easily, and Fernando almost had a heart attack, but he reined it in. “Our schedules don’t really line up, so it’s hard to find time to meet up, right, sweetheart?” he glanced at Fernando with a wink.</p><p><br/>
“Yup, completely correct,” he agreed as smoothly as he could, the stranger chuckling.</p><p><br/>
“Now, if you’ll excuse us, gentlemen,” he waved cheerfully, steering to move them away from the duo.</p><p><br/>
“Hey, I’m not done talking yet,” the smaller one stated, pulling out a knife.</p><p><br/>
And that’s when Fernando’s awe and appreciation for the stranger flew out the window.</p><p><br/>
“<em>AH, KNIFE</em>!” he squeaked, hiding behind Fernando’s shoulder, his voice jumping up an octave and a half.</p><p><br/>
<em>You’ve got to be kidding me</em>, Fernando almost face-palmed.</p><p><br/>
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said, unable to say anything else, turning to look at his “savior.”</p><p><br/>
“Knives are <em>dangerous</em>!” the stranger argued.</p><p><br/>
“Oh my god,” Fernando groaned, grabbing the stranger’s gloved hand and sprinting off in the opposite direction.</p><p><br/>
“Hey, wait--!” he could hear the other two running after them.</p><p><br/>
“Might not be the best time to mention this,” the handsome stranger spoke up as they took off, “but I’m also being followed.”</p><p><br/>
“You’re what?!”</p><p><br/>
Just as he said so, strange black goopy blobs materialized out of the shadows and started to tail them. The blobs took almost-humanoid shape and glided after them, without making a sound, like phantoms.</p><p><br/>
“Oh, you <em>gotta</em> be kidding me!” Fernando shouted, but the stranger shrugged, giving him a helpless smile.</p><p><br/>
Fernando and the stranger ran hand-in-hand through the maze of alleys that wound around the outskirts of the city, taking random turns all throughout. Fernando sent silent pleas up to the heavens to any deity who may take pity on him to get him back safely.</p><p><br/>
Apparently those deities hated him, because the next turn he took landed him at a dead end.</p><p><br/>
“<em>Oh, you gotta be kidding me</em>!” he groaned again, rubbing the heel of his palms against his eyes. He couldn’t be bothered to make any form of actual commentary.</p><p><br/>
“Don’t worry,” the stranger spoke up, cool as a cucumber, as if he hadn’t been freaking out at the sight of a knife only five minutes ago.</p><p><br/>
“‘Don’t worry’? ‘Don’t worry’!?” Fernando whirled around to look at him, handsomeness be damned. “I’m worried, dammit! Those assholes are gonna get here any second and beat us to a pulp! And those weird shadow things following you are gonna eat us or whatever!</p><p><br/>
“How am I not supposed to be worried?!” he asked when the stranger suddenly wrapped his surprisingly strong arm around Fernando’s waist and pulled him close so that their noses were almost touching.</p><p><br/>
“Do you trust me?” he asked, his eyes a luminescent gray in the moonlight.</p><p><br/>
“Literally no,” Fernando stared at him, and the stranger laughed, and suddenly the ground was gone.</p><p><br/>
They had shot straight up into the sky, and Fernando cried out in surprise, clinging to the stranger, the fear of falling shooting through his brain.</p><p><br/>
But they didn’t fall.</p><p><br/>
The stranger took his hands, turning him, and told him in a low voice to begin walking. Most of Fernando’s logic-sided brain told him that this was all a dream and he needed to stop reading weird stories before going to sleep, but the screw-it-I’m-tired part of his brain told him to just do what the stranger said.</p><p><br/>
He did, and they were walking through the air.</p><p><br/>
Fernando watched in silent awe as they strode over the city, the lights from the buildings below like stars, matching the distant stars overhead. Like they were dancing through starlight mirrors.</p><p><br/>
“Sorry about all that,” the stranger spoke up as they continued their walk. “I really did mean to help you.”</p><p><br/>
“...Nah, man, it’s cool, I appreciate it, and whatever this is,” Fernando looked up and down, then back at the stranger. “I’m Fernando, by the way.”</p><p><br/>
“Nando, hunh? Nice to meet you, I’m Schmidt,” the stranger smiled at him, a beautiful sight to behold, but did this guy really just give him a nickname immediately? Or did he mishear him?</p><p><br/>
Fernando was about to correct him, but Schmidt gestured with his head around the city.</p><p><br/>
“Where shall I drop you off?” he asked.</p><p><br/>
“Oh, uh, there is fine,” Fernando pointed, a little worried that if he let go of either of Schmidt’s hands that he would drop straight to the ground.</p><p><br/>
“All right,” Schmidt hummed and led him to the front of Fernando’s apartment door on the second floor. “There you are, you should be safe, but if you’re going to leave, wait for a couple minutes, okay?”</p><p><br/>
“Uh, yeah, sure, thanks?” Fernando blinked as Schmidt’s fingers slipped away from his.</p><p><br/>
“Have a safe night, handsome,” Schmidt winked again and leapt down from the balcony.</p><p><br/>
Fernando stepped forward to look for him, but he had already vanished.</p><p><br/>
“What a weirdo,” Fernando huffed, turning to unlock his door. “Gah, shit! I left the briefcase there!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Semi unrelated, but I totally imagined SeigiVA's voice for Nando and ZyndLegion's voice for Schmidt from SeigiVA's vids of Hot Guy P.I. dubbed. Check them out on Youtube!<br/>https://youtu.be/XheSa1GjYb4 Hot Guy P.I. One<br/>https://youtu.be/7e5FOy_edUo Hot Guy P.I. Two<br/>https://youtu.be/pCqXEDek2uY Hot Guy P.I. Three</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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